Does anyone feel any sympathy for this man? Or his efforts at this point? Are viewers somewhere cheering this idiot who’s now dragged Caroline and Dwight into his terrible storyline? (Though, admittedly, Caroline’s “Yes, I was” when Dwight tells her she’s magnificent after saving Ross’s dumb self from a treason charge was pretty much perfect.) Maybe we feel bad for Kitty, who is stuck trying to deal with this man on the regular, whose behavior has to be putting her at risk as much as himself. But the way he’s behaving is honestly terrible. It’s not that Ned is wrong – he’s actually 100% correct about everything he can’t seem to stop talking about. At this point, even Ross is a broken record of admonishments like “Have a care, Ned” and “OMG, STOP TALKING, MORON” and it’s honestly exhausting to watch this ostensibly intelligent and savvy man shoot himself in the foot at every possible opportunity. That Ned walks right into Hansen and his instantly forgettable evil partner’s plot is inevitable given that this man is so stupid, I’m not sure how he ever managed to run an entire colony of the Crown on his own. Using a Dwight and Caroline photo this week since they may never get a story (Photo: Courtesy of Mammoth Screen) Of course, Ned’s not helping himself, regularly engaging in shouting matches with strangers at public events about everything from slavery to Catholic emancipation, getting blackout drunk at bars with disreputable revolutionaries and yelling things like THE KING IS MAD!! WE SHOULD KILL HIM!! at top volume wherever he goes. This is all part of an elaborate plot to prevent Ned Despard from being sent back to his post in Honduras, which eventually escalates into them trying to get him arrested and perhaps executed? These dudes are so extra.
Instead, it’s a dude named Merceron, who I legit had to look up on Wikipedia because I was the human embodiment of that Keke Palmer “Sorry to this man” meme when the episode dramatically revealed his face. So, remember that guy they’ve been showing us creeping around the shadows of London, ominously stroking his pet falcon and doing everything short of laughing maniacally like Doctor Evil? Well, you’d be forgiven if you thought that unidentified person was going to turn out to be important in some way, given that Poldark seemed to really want you to think that. (George’s complicated attempt to entrap Ned and Ross into what appears to be treason? IDK.) And one of them – the revelation of trash Hansen’s secret partner – is a total dud. Some of them are charming and emotional (Christmas in Cornwall, literally anything to do with Morwenna), and some of them are honestly a hot mess. The fifth episode of Poldark’s final season is far too busy for its own good, cramming at least half a dozen storylines together into this hour. (Need more details: Check out our Episode 4 recap.) As for George, he seems pretty much over his recent, possibly years-long mental decline, thanks to Dwight’s magical doctoring skills, and honestly did we expect anything that might be mistaken for nuance? Oh, and our aged-up Geoffrey Charles is in love with the racist slave trader Hansen’s daughter Cecily, only her trash dad has decided she should marry George instead. Previously on Poldark: Ned, who is getting more irritating by the day, leads a rag tag group of protesters to Trenwith to guilt George Warleggan into reopening his mind, an argument he’d probably have been more open to initially if Ned hadn’t broken his arm first.
Demelza's fashion game in Season 5 is on point (Photo: Courtesy of Mammoth Screen)